Here are 10 things I discovered in my basement, today.
1. My basement has monster spiders.
2. I don’t always wear shoes in the house.
3. I don’t often carry my cell phone when I take raspberries to the downstairs freezer.
4. My husband can’t hear me yelling for help from the basement, while he’s upstairs on the second floor.
5. After some time barefoot calling for help, my mind starts to wander.
6. There’s only so long that you can sustain a really productive terror. So, after a while, I start wondering what would Wonder Woman would do…. Would she yell for help? Hell no. She’d charge across No Man’s Land.
However, and this is an important distinction, Wonder Woman wears kick-ass boots and wields a mighty sword.
7. I’m barefoot and have no sword, shield, lasso, or gauntlets.
8. That spider is 8″ across, and crouched between my toes and the stairs.
9. My basement is full weapon-like things. Diana Prince would absolutely use snap-lock containers like a bad-ass warrior.
10. Behold! I have crossed No Man’s Land, barefoot, in shorts, wielding Tupperware. There were no casualties. And I escaped from basement, so win-win.